witnesstothese

At a time when communication is instant and constant, you'd think it's also honest. Sharing a meme, posting a photograph, responding to a friend's message - all of it is communication in one form or another. Why, then, is it more difficult now than ever to hold honest conversations with our loved ones - about how we are doing, about how they are doing, about anything at all? Our response to "Hey, how are you doing?" is invariably some version of "I am good, how about you?". These AI-like responses feel like knee-jerk reactions, ready to be dished out as soon as we see the question. There's a rehearsed quality to it all, like we've lived out this scenario a thousand times, like putting on a well-worn mask for a performance. This least problematic and the most palatable response also seems like the most acceptable one, so we retrieve it from our muscle memory, tracing on our mobile keypads one letter after another in a now-familiar sequence - ...

"I don't know." But I do know. I know all too well how that makes me feel. In fact, in those moments of panic, all my feelings morph into a second skin, wrapping me up in a malleable lump of a mess, twisting my insides like only a bad stomach infection could. In the throes of such panic, my body listens to my misguided mind, dancing  tossing and turning and twitching and tensing to its increasingly alarming tunes, while my elevated heart rate keeps the rhythm. It feels like the end of the world, at least my world, and so the dimming light forming a vignette in my peripheral vision only seems like a natural process that ends in my fainting.  But it does not get there. It never does. This may sound like relief, like a crisis averted, or misery cut short, but it's anything but that. This forms the fertile ground in which the next panic attack can germinate, take root, grow & branch out. So when asked how they make me feel, I want to simply say, "tired", but...

ఈద్ రోజు సెలవ ఉండటంతో అమ్మా-నాన్నలతో కలిసి మేడ్చల్ దెగ్గర 3-4 గుళ్ళకి వెళ్ళొద్దాం అనుకున్నా. కానీ అమ్మకి వేరే పని ఉండటంతో మేడ్చల్ ప్లాన్ విరమించుకుని నేనూ నాన్నా కొడకంచిలో ఉన్న శ్రీ ఆదినారాయణ స్వామి దేవాలయం దర్శించుకుని వద్దామని ఉదయం 9 గం.లకు బయలుదేరాము. మా ఇంటి నుంచి 30 నిమి. దూరమే!   నేను ఇంతకమునుపు ఒకసారి ఈ గుడికి వెళ్ళాను, నాన్నకి మాత్రం మొదటిసారి. వెయ్యేళ్ళ చరిత్ర కలిగిన దేవాలయం ఇది. సంగారెడ్డి జిల్లా కిందకి వస్తుంది. ప్రధాన ఆలయానికి వెళ్ళే దారిలోనే బ్రహ్మసూత్ర శివలింగం, నందీశ్వరుడు, అభయాంజనేయ స్వామి దేవాలయం కూడా ఉన్నాయి. ఆనాటి రాతి, డంగు-సున్నం కట్టడాలు, ద్వారాలు చూస్తే అదో రకమైన హాయి కలిగింది. పెద్ద పెద్ద చెక్క తలుపులు, వాటికి వేసే ఇనుప గొళ్ళాలే ఒక కిలో బరువు ఉన్నట్టు అనిపించాయి. బయట మండుటెండ ఉన్నా, ఆ రాతి కట్టడాల కింద ఉన్నంతసేపూ చల్లగా, హాయిగా ఉండింది. దర్శనం వెంటనే అయిపోయింది. కంచిలో మాదిరిగానే ఇక్కడ కూడా బంగారు బల్లి, వెండి బల్లి ఉన్నాయి. పూజా విధానాలు అన్నీ కంచిలో జరిగినట్టే జరుగుతాయని అక్కడ ఉన్న అర్చకులు మాకు చెప్పారు.  స్థలపురాణం ఒక బ్యానరుపై ప్రింట్ చేశారు. ...

Life can get chaotic. Scratch that: life is invariably chaotic but if you're lucky, you may find yourself catching a break now and then. Whether it's a tea break in the middle of a hectic work day or a slow walk in solitude after a difficult conversation, we all deserve moments of calm and quiet from time to time.  What we're taking a break from may be transient in nature or persistent/ongoing, but there is benefit in briefly stepping away from our bothers and worries. In addition to giving our brains the time to process our thoughts, feelings and emotions, these breaks help us distance ourselves from emotional upheavals, thereby lending objectivity to our thought processes. But how do we take these breaks? What does a break even mean? What do we do? The good news is, there's no one way or the right way to take a break. This means, you are in full charge of what this looks like for you. You may consider reading a book, going for a jog, listening to an instrumental, me...

It feels like everyone's doing everything all the time. Just looking around, noticing people be everywhere, doing everything, all at once, and doing it all seemingly well, is an intimidating experience. If it wasn't overwhelming enough to see people "thrive" in real life, while you are "falling behind", with one quick click of a button, Instagram is all too happy to dish out additional servings of people's accomplishments and milestones, each more grander than the previous, but all equally carefully curated by the OPs to share a piece (all?) of their (amazing?) life online.  All this noise has a way of making you feel like you're missing out. Every movie you have passed on, every concert you couldn't make it to, every trip you couldn't go on - all of it stings just a little bit more if others have shown up when you haven't, and now there's proof on Instagram for what an amazing time you've passed on. Full disclosure: I have alway...

For as long as I can remember, I have been bothered by change. I always found comfort in the familiar, the known, the predictable. Some might think that is boring, but for me, boring was always peaceful. If you're anything like me, you'd know all too well the kind of anxiety major life events bring with them. When you've gotten too comfortable in your way of life and something changes, something beyond your control now, you're left with broadly 2 choices:  Resist the change Embrace the change Each one of those choices presents you with challenges. When you resist the change that you have no control over, you are fighting a battle that you cannot win. You're only delaying your acceptance of the change by fighting it.  Luckily, by embracing the change, you're going in with acceptance. Acceptance, then, is now a tool you're using right from the get go to deal with this change, rather than being the end result of the uphill battle in the first choice. I am not t...