The (self)deceiving convenience of the "I'm good. You?" replies

At a time when communication is instant and constant, you'd think it's also honest. Sharing a meme, posting a photograph, responding to a friend's message - all of it is communication in one form or another. Why, then, is it more difficult now than ever to hold honest conversations with our loved ones - about how we are doing, about how they are doing, about anything at all?

Our response to "Hey, how are you doing?" is invariably some version of "I am good, how about you?". These AI-like responses feel like knee-jerk reactions, ready to be dished out as soon as we see the question. There's a rehearsed quality to it all, like we've lived out this scenario a thousand times, like putting on a well-worn mask for a performance. This least problematic and the most palatable response also seems like the most acceptable one, so we retrieve it from our muscle memory, tracing on our mobile keypads one letter after another in a now-familiar sequence - "I am good."

Are we, though?

It helps to be honest, if not with everyone, at least with our closest friends and family. To lower our guards, to let it all spill out in the open with a devil-may-care attitude, to make our miseries explicit in messy, incoherent meltdowns may actually serve us better than keeping up the pretense of "holding it all together".

Next time someone close asks me how I am doing, I'll actually tell them how I am doing. Whether or not my response falls on willing, caring ears, is another story, and probably a useful filter to audit the friendships/relationships in my life. No more masks.